Tongue in Cheek Letter to the editor about the NSA and Privacy

October 26, 2013

This letter to the editor of the Pueblo Chieftain Newspaper was published a few days after it was transmitted. 

Just a few days ago I thought Steppenwolf was a really cool band headed by John Kay in the late 1960s.  Today I picked up an old tattered book from the Pueblo Library titled Steppenwolf.  The book was first published in 1927 by its German-Swiss author, Hermann Hesse.  Mr. Hesse won the Nobel Prize in Literature at some point in his long career.  I figured how could I go wrong with such a distinguished author?

I was stopped cold on the fourth page. A chill ran down my spine.  The protagonist, I assume Steppenwolf, had just made a deal with his kindly new landlady.  She agreed not to make the obligatory report to the local police that he had just moved into her house as a new tenant. Her nephew was upset with this deal. The Nazi Party was destined to take over in just a few short years, so I should not have been surprised. After all, shouldn’t any government or the police know of the whereabouts of all citizens?

The chill ran down my spine once again as I read the trusty Pueblo Chieftain.  There was more talk of our government spying on our own citizens, and of course, spying on other governments that are our allies.  You’ve heard the news for several months. I don’t have to elaborate. In sixties hippy speak, the news really creped me out.

I told myself to cheer up!  Americans won’t have to report to the police when we make changes in our living accommodations.  This inconvenience and the inevitable embarrassment of kowtowing to the authorities will be avoided for the foreseeable future.  After all, our images are captured everywhere we go and everywhere we do business.  Kids out of high school with contractor generated secret security clearances can read our emails and listen to our phone calls any time an invisible judge says it’s okay.  We can always be quickly found with the aid of our cell phones or a pilotless drone.  As an added bonus, when the government shuts down now and then, these services are not likely to be interrupted. The police or our massive centralized government can find us when they need us.  

Angela Merkel, please, don’t sweat the small stuff.  Believe me when I tell you we are all safer.

Sheppard Hobgood, Pueblo